Josef: Tourettes and Pigeons

Light raindrops were falling as I walked along the south side of the canal which runs between the Tiergarten and the Zoologischer Garten. I’d just passed the entrance to the Zoo, where masses of visitors were waiting in large groups, having just stepped off the dozen or more coaches parked nearby. The area was lively with excited children, families and tourists. I could smell the typical scent of the Zoo and was even able to spot some of the enclosures between iron railings to my right but could not catch sight of any animals. The sounds of laughter from within the grounds began to tempt my curiosity and the idea of paying the expensive entry fee sauntered across my mind. Luckily for my bank balance, I was soon to be distracted from that particular idea. Distracted, on second thoughts, is an understatement for what happened next.

“BUGGER!!!”

It was one of those moments when the heart feels like it’s leaping out of your mouth and the sky is falling on your head at the same time. Someone directly behind had just shouted, at the top of their voice, the above exclamation. There had been no words before to give any advance warning nor were there any directly afterwards. I looked around, probably with eyes as wide as saucers, to see where the shout had come from.

The man was in his 30’s with long black hair which saddled a slim, unshaven face, he wore dark blue jeans and a dark denim jacket. He had the voice of a town crier, which gave the impression he was used to shouting. The man walked past, as if nothing was wrong, striding purposefully and with pace. I looked at him, stunned, wondering what on earth had made him do such a thing.

There was a rather attractive young lady a few metres ahead, she wore a smart haute couture dress, with a small thin coat and high heels. As the ruffled looking man neared, I began to wonder if he would reproduce his antics behind her. He did but this time he didn’t shout, he shrieked.

“FUCK!!!”

The poor woman literally jumped into a hedge. Her hands raised upwards to her ears as she leaped for cover. As he passed her, she looked up startled from amongst the leaves, then her face turned to anger as she glared at him walking away.

I was walking in the same direction as the Tourettes inflicted gentleman and so was able to witness, with much interest I might add, what unfolded next.

He came across a group of pigeons feeding off some bread being dropped by a mother and her three young children. The pigeons, like in most large cities, are reasonably tame here and just amble out of the way of oncoming pedestrians. Not this time.

“PIGEONS!!!”

Wings flapped madly into the air in a swarm of terror. Pigeons flew in every direction imaginable. The mother and children could only duck with their hands over their faces. I couldn’t help but laugh, no one was injured and it just seemed so immensely humorous. The mother didn’t seem to see the funny side though as she consoled the younger of her brood who had started to bawl his head off.

As like before, the man just kept on walking, as though nothing were amiss. I began to realise that the frequency of his disorder had probably rendered him indifferent to the effects on other people. I should add here, that Tourette's Syndrome, or in this case the Coprolalia form of Tourettes, is a neurological disorder characterized by involuntary vocal outbursts, to which there is no known cure.

A few minutes later he came across an elderly lady and her small dog. She looked rather frail and I began to worry slightly about what would happen in this instance.

“BITCH!!!”

The little dog went berserk. It tugged on it’s leash, running in circles, barking in a frenzy. The old lady, on the other hand, seemed not to have heard the insulting swear word. She looked worriedly down at the crazy dog, trying to keep her footing whilst shouting commands for it to calm down. I noticed on passing, hearing aids hooked to both her ears.

A little while later he turned off onto a different path and I lost sight of him but not before a few more expletives were heard. I wondered what it would be like to be afflicted with such an embarrassing and anti-social condition such as Tourettes. Perhaps he had built up a defence mechanism of uncaring acceptance of the uncontrollable outbursts or maybe the fingers around his coke bottle had been clenched with heartache and loneliness. One would never know for sure.

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Josef was born in 1969 in the Wedding district of Berlin. At the age of 6 he developed the Coprolalia form of Tourettes for reasons unknown to his immediate family. Throughout his school days he suffered from the condition and from severe bullying, finally being home-schooled in his early teenage years. Happily, he went on to be accepted at University where he met a more sympathetic crowd and group of friends. He was later the lead singer in a Berlin rap group which met with moderate success.
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